About the project:
For tens of thousands of artists around the world, in a matter of weeks the novel coronavirus has caused the loss of exhibitions, projects, side gigs, and left much uncertainty behind. Many of us have also lost freedom of movement. As we sit isolated at home and consider our fears and hopes for the future, this project is a challenge to confront ourselves by creating a self-portrait.
A new artist will be featured weekly.
About the curator:
Benjamin Mefford. Wilsonville, Oregon, USA. Image: February 28, 2020.
I took this self-portrait for a master class I had been invited to teach. They needed a head shot for the brochures and I realized that after 12 years as a practicing artist I still managed to have barely any pictures of myself. It was a challenge. It looks like a simple image, and technically speaking, it is, but when you don’t feel good you don’t look good. I was feeling particularly off that day, but the image was needed immediately. I had to put myself in a mental state that reflected not how I felt, but how I wanted to feel. Somehow, it worked. I captured a moment of happiness in my eyes amid a sea of self conscious anxiety. The magic of it was that afterward I felt great. That small moment of happiness grew, until it displaced my fear and anxiety.
As it turned out, the reason I had been feeling particularly bad that day was due to my health. The next day I woke up very sick with a respiratory infection, and barely got out of bed for 4 days. There is no way of knowing yet whether it was truly the new coronavirus because testing was not available. 4 weeks later, and I’ve gone from self-imposed isolation to government mandated isolation. I have also become unemployed and lost several important planned exhibitions in a matter of days. As working artists know, it takes months (and in some cases years) of planning and investment to prepare for an exhibition.
As friends have pointed out, one can, and must, look at this challenging situation as an opportunity for creative problem solving. So I created this project to give myself and others affected by this illness (whether directly or indirectly) a venue to represent themselves, and to feel a little more connected to the world outside.
I don’t know what will happen with this project. For me, it simply transforms my uncertainty from feelings of dread and anxiety into curiosity and optimism.